The way it works in real life is you have a scheduled track and time. The only radio call is when you call the tanker 10-15 minutes out, pass your squawk, time, altitude, and altimeter setting. The you arrive at the right place at the right time...and with any luck the tanker does as well. You call astern (which replaced the term precontact years ago), tanker gives you cleared to contact with light signals or a radio call and you get gas. But, as you said, since our tankers are non-responsive AI units, we are left with rejoining with a "dumb" tanker.